I am going to begin discussing empathy before I read anything new
on the subject. It is such a broad topic that it cannot be
sufficiently explored by addressing only one aspect. To begin with
however, I would like to talk about some of the social and cultural
implications of empathy, or what I would suggest is a lack thereof,
while perhaps touching on the philosophical. The human species is
supposed to be replete with this desirable characteristic. I would
argue though that just because an entity is human, it does not
follow automatically that empathy will be part of that entity’s
makeup, at least until that entity has been through much
experience. As I get older, I realise that when I was younger, I
was quicker to make value judgements about others, which ultimately
may not always have been correct. Had I been the vessel of more
empathy, these judgements may not have been so acute. Not that I
believe I have ever been an especially judgemental person, I merely
think that one can be more dogmatic about judgements when one lacks
a certain level of understanding. That “understanding”
theoretically will come with time. I believe we live in a world
where empathy for one’s fellow man -and for animals- is continually
mitigated by cultural influences. Some cultural factors which I
believe erode any potentially innate empathy consist of the
following: * Continuous bombardment with violence, war, death and
pain on television and through other media * In Australia and
probably elsewhere, a perceived association between recognising and
expressing sadness or emotion and of being “unmanly”, in the case
of the male or perhaps “weak” in the case of the female *
Disassociation from our sources of food and hunter-gatherer grass
roots survival * Belief by some, that animals and other “lesser"
creatures are put here for human use only * Demonising of some
lesser-privileged segments of society * Demonising of refugees *
Promotion of the idea that people must be ruthless and “man up” in
order to “succeed” * Elevation of greed and acquisitiveness as a
goal * Propagation of the belief system that if we try hard enough,
we can “achieve anything”, which conversely emphasises the belief
that if one has not “achieved” (according to some external,
spurious definition) then obviously one cannot have tried hard
enough and is thus unworthy in some way I could go on and on (and
possibly will add to these points if it seems suitable to do so!).
I believe we should aim to get a broad understanding of not only
what it means to be “human” but what it might mean to be “alive”
and subject to the vagaries of life and to use that knowledge to
become better, to develop our empathy and to live a more
compassionate and peaceful existence. There’s a start from me
anyway...

I've heard of people having less empathy over time. I think it's
called empathy fatigue? It's like when people are bombarded with
advertisements on television about how they should donate to this
cause and to that cause, over and over again, and they get so sick
of it that they have less empathy than they started with. On the
other hand I was taught by my mother to have empathy from a very
young age. She often would talk about 'putting yourself in someone
else's shoes', although I think sometimes she had too much empathy
because her extreme level of empathy would often make her very
upset by things she saw, on the news for example, and it affected
her health. I have to be careful with empathy though because it
makes me want to try to do SOMETHING to help, and that can be a
very difficult balance which can cause more problems when/if things
go wrong...

Hmmm...an interesting point made by Rockmelon. I agree. I believe
we can indeed be hardened to the suffering of others as a result of
"over-exposure" to charity causes, media imagery, etc. Being
something of a cynic, I feel that a well developed sense of empathy
is not present in most people until they have suffered. Even then,
lots of people I have met, while being quite empathetic about some
things, are completely devoid of the same understanding relating to
some other things. Even then, this sense of empathy can be short
lived. For example, I had a school techer when I was young, who was
most decidely and consistently a very harsh person, in my opinion,
when it came to exhibiting any empathy and understanding towards
any problems his students may have faced. That teacher later had a
minor car accident and suffered a minor injury. When he returned to
work, his sense of empathy was quite evident for other peoples'
suffering...for about one week. When we recovered from the shock of
his experience, he went back to being the same callous individual
he had been before the accident. This may sound judgemental on my
part but I did not set out to judge him; I merely observed the
strikingly obvious behavioural changes. If only there were some
mechanism by which the human species could genetically transmit its
collective empathetic experiences rather than everyone having to go
through the same "discoveries" of suffering and pain in order to be
able to identify with the experiences of others... Sylvia is
correct too in saying that giving empathy to oneself is important.
Indeed, how can one be charitable of thought and feeling to others
if one is harsh with oneself? Nevertheless, some societal
influences discourage kindness to oneself. Therein lies a
problem...

I believe Empathy is learned through experience and grows through
experience and time. That is, for clarity, the ability to be able
to put yourself in someone elses shoes and actually feel what they
are feeling. Ex. My partner lost his wife 10 years ago (38 yrs
old). Huge loss, immense pain and suffering. When he speaks about
that experience, I cry. I can literally feel the pain and loss.
However, I'm not feeling his pain and loss because I'm a seperate
human being. We aren't attached at the hip or even at the heart. My
tears are real and my body feels the hurt and pain because I have
experienced my own hurt, pain, and loss. I can relate to his
experience through my own experience. People that are unable to put
themselves in someone elses shoes has not either learned to do so,
or has not experienced enough in life to be able to relate to the
feelings that are associated with certain experiences. People are
basically good for the most part, and I believe we all are doing
the best we can with what we know; however, unless you have the
experience to be able to directly relate to the feelings, it makes
it difficult for people to be truly empathetic. They will do their
best though.