Yep, it was always going to burst, but it did so in a rather unexpected way. I seem to have less and less of an idea about where this is going, I kind of like that, but I'm also a bit puzzled, and a part of my brain wants to control it, to tame it to an extent. Hehe, no chance this time.

Cataclysm, day 372.76 MB

Score: Cataclysm, day 37

Bars 36 and 37 were written during a camping trip with the most awesome bunch of people, to whom they are lovingly dedicated. Marc, Ester, Nico, Maria and Toni, thanks for yet another memorable experience!

Blurring lines

This week it's been has felt quite strange, like everyday there was a different feeling when working on the bar at hand, and not necessarily connected to how I had been feeling through the day. Maybe it's loosing a bit of the fascination from the first days, which helped with the letting go, and expectations are starting to kick in. At times I wanted too much control, and didn't let the music just flow freely.

Some days it felt exciting, some days sluggish, some days too tense, some days very unknown. I think expectations are the key here. For example, after a day where the bar seemed exciting and heading in interesting directions, the next day I found myself struggling, feeling rigid and non-flowing. Or the reverse, after a bar where things seemed to dilly-dally and I was a bit frustrated, would come a day when something interesting unfolded in a very non-controlled way.

Maybe a bit like daily life. With its funky days and its slow days, and the days where the context carries you and the days where it brings you a strong challenge. I like this, the blurring of lines. Between weekdays and weekends, or work and life (??), or why not between composing and living. Maybe composing can be more like just living (I like the sound of that), and hey, maybe living more like composing? (that too!).